Okay, I said it, and I'm not sure why I haven't heard many other green apron alumni and buckheads say this. Why is Pike Place still the house blend?

Is it nostalgia? Nostalgia does go a long way. It probably is because I just bought some Pike Place and compared it to the new Green Apron blend, or what I think is the new Green Apron blend, it isn't even close.

Okay fine, that's a new blend, maybe the scientists got it right this time. Would Starbucks' CEO (cough, cough) make the change? Maybe it's just me, and people need coffee to taste like (insert something that doesn't taste nice) in order for them to think that it's working, or maybe it tastes like that so you buy a latte or a Frappuccino. How nice, how American, how awesome! I guess you could always speak up and get the Blonde that is usually brewing.

Honestly, if I had to choose a Starbucks blend over the Pike Place, I would go with Anniversary, Holiday, Sumatra, French, and Green Apron for sure. The rest, I guess, would be debatable.

While I was coming in tardy for Sunday School, my Principal, let's call him Dr. K (R.I.P.), mentioned that there would be a "50 cent charge" in his African accent. Who knew that would start a butterfly effect where my cousin Ali, Muntazir (Moon) R.I.P. and I would ditch Sunday School. There are certain things that make people legends in the minds of others, and that simple line where he spoke up and wasn't afraid to be the bad guy made him a legend in my mind.

Here's the gimme in the parlay of the 50/50 stories. In business, seriously folks, in my best JB impression, seriously folks, in business you can't go 50/50, someone's fingers are gonna get chopped off. Back to my voice. You see it in restaurants all the time; it sucks. People think they are partners. No, no, no, in my Destiny's Child voice, there needs to be a clear hierarchy. Just saying. This is high school business, folks, JB again. Al Musavi didn't make it up, still JB.

Oh, another 50 percent story that should be abolished is the one lie, one truth game. Not sure who thought this was a good idea to put in their life handbook, but it's not. Remember, 50 percent is failing.

Hate to even go there, but the final 50 cent story is the 50/50 in divorce. There has got to be a winner. As a gentleman, if I was a Supreme Court Justice, if this is what they do, I would just change the rule and let the women win in straight marriages because they could come back and haunt you, hahahaha.

Let's say this sticky note came from the future...take away the keys, Alice.

No more 50/50. Drugs are bad.

No/50/50 update

June 21, 2024

I have just not so subtly been informed that no more 50/50, the sticky note from the future, or implanted memory, whichever science you believe, might actually be that women no longer want to be responsible for 50 percent of the bills. Before you say, Al, you can't make such a broad statement, well I saw and heard it loud and clear roughly out of 125 single women in their approximately 20s and 30s when asked if they believe women should go 50/50, 95 percent said no, and roughly the same percent said the man should provide for everything.

See, there are birds, and the birds want to have other birds to fly with, so they make other birds. But there is only so much sustenance available, so they don't want to make too many other birds. Now the bees, the bees also need other bees to make honey, so they make lots of other bees. Son, you want to be a bird, don't be a bee.

Evolve or die, I like to say. I have come to the conclusion that man is still evolving. This is based on the little science I know and common sense that I might have a speck of.

We are evolverators. If we believe in evolution, then the first instance of man was different than us. One thing I know that is different is life expectancy. From grumblings that I've heard, the beginning lifespan of man was less than half of what it is now. I can conclude this on the fact that they didn't have the knowledge that we have today.

People say, this is how we used to do it. The old days were much better. Well, cavemen did it this way. Well, cavemen also died at 25. We evolve, we know what foods to eat to keep us alive and healthy. There has been knowledge that has been passed down from generation to generation through families and books that keep us smarter than animals.

Medicines are always being tinkered with and improved upon to fix what ails us. We can also prevent ailments by using the knowledge that our elders have given us.

The average lifespan of a homo sapien in this world is in the sixties and seventies in most well-developed areas. That is average. I believe that we can live longer than average. I mean, who the heck strives for average? We need to strive to live forever. Holy grail style. Can it be done? Is there a certain savior in his 2050s? Maybe, yes probably.

No lie, the best pasta I ever had in my life was in Monaco. You were able to choose from a variety of freshly rolled pasta that was mostly made in the AM and then choose what I presume was a freshly made sauce, tossed with some olive oil and cooked with some secret technique that they weren't too keen on sharing.

The pasta was of the ricotta gnocchi variety. It tasted like the ricotta was straight from the farm. I would probably go back to Monaco just to try that pasta again.

Often I have tried to imitate what was tasted on that fine day, but alas, it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Yes, my wife and I got to see the grand gardens at the king's castle. That king and queen knew how to get to a man's heart though...through his tummy.

The Washington Football team doesn't have a name. That is weird. Well, it does have a name, but it's a generic name. They need a new name according to my sources.

I came up with a few possibilities: The Washington Grass, The Washington Weeds, The Washington Turf. These were my field-based names.

Seriously though, I'm thinking The Washington Whales. We could call them the wailers. The logo would make for great shirts.